I’ve titled this blog post, “Goodbye And Thanks, Andy”. I can’t express my rage at that. “Goodbye” has such a finality to it. But that’s exactly what this is, a final goodbye to a wonderful human. He was my friend and mentor and so much more to so many others. Cancer has ripped another awesome person away and it makes me furious.

Over twenty years ago(!), I was a recent graduate having returned to the States from living abroad. I moved back to New England to be closer to family. My grandparents, really. With a recommendation of a trusted professor, I snared a paid internship at the Worcester Art Museum. I was assigned to the museum’s Education Department before I had any inkling that I wanted to be a teacher. Almost immediately it seemed I became friends with everyone, but it was quickly apparent I wasn’t meant to sit at a desk, answer the phone, or give directions. I was assigned to the youth summer program and from there starting hosting my own after school courses. I was drawing and painting furiously, and I was sculpting, constructing and deconstructing, and I was up to my elbows in slip from throwing on the wheel. I was doing it all, but without any clear direction as to what kind of artist I wanted to be. I became so frustrated with myself that I stopped creating. I was enjoying teaching more and more, but I felt like a phony. Here I was alongside accomplished artists and experienced educators, but I myself had hung up his smock.

Andy Fish was one of those experienced artists and teachers. A little older than me, Andy had the same interests in comic books and science fiction. He also had a sarcastic wit to match my own. We shared very similar views of the world and believed treating everyone equally. Through Andy I met his wife, Veronica. At first they seemed an unlikely pair. Veronica was so cool and Andy was an unabashed nerd (though he managed to cover it with a swagger all his own). Andy was outgoing, but Veronica was a little shy. It didn’t take long for me to see how perfect they were for each other. Veronica is also a talented artist. Both Andy and Veronica would become published comic book creators and an aspiration to so many of their pupils. I don’t know if Andy knew how many of us looked up to him, that wasn’t his nature. I do remember a particular conversation at WAM (that’s the museum’s unofficial nickname). It was at an exhibition of local artists. We all had work included in the show. Andy was commenting how he loved my painting on display and asked why I wasn’t showing more of my work or if he had just missed it in the past. I explained I’d lost direction and just … stopped. Andy couldn’t believe I wasn’t making art. I could read the disappointment in his face. As was his way, Andy directly told me to stop making excuses and pick an avenue of work to focus on, stick with it for a determined amount of time and see how I was feeling creatively. If it wasn’t working, choose another, but to never — ever — give up. I knew in my heart Andy was right.

I spent another year or so working at WAM. From there I started teaching art for Worcester Public Schools, I eventually transferred to Boston Public Schools, and the rest is history. I’ve also continued creating, narrowing my focus to drawing and painting. I haven’t stopped since Andy sat me down. My colleagues at the museum remain dear friends. We were a family of sorts and we still check in on one another. I would run into Andy and Veronica at comic cons. They usually had tables in artist alley, but sometimes Andy would be there with his sons who ran their own booth selling back issues. Andy and I would catch up like no time had passed. One of us would say something to make the other laugh. Andy was always surprised at my high energy and worried maybe I needed to slow down. I think he knew that’s just not my way. He was happy to at least see I’d narrowed my focus and was doing well creatively and professionally.

This past June Andy was diagnosed with two aggressive forms of cancer. Everyone was startled at the physical transformation that overtook him so rapidly. Andy’s family set up a Go Fund Me to support his recovery. It made me happy to see it completely funded so quickly. I know Andy knew then how much he meant to friends, family, and fans. Unfortunately, Andy’s treatment stopped when he passed in early September. It makes me so angry that Andy’s latest project will go unfulfilled. That his kids have lost their father and Veronica her life partner. As is with life so often, it’s incredibly unfair.

I’ve decided to channel that anger and focus on my art with a not-so-secret to Andy to never stop. While the school year begins anew, my work in the studio will slow, but I’m determined to keep at it. I will be forever grateful to Andy for taking the time to encourage a young Steven by giving it to me straight. My current work-in-progress is dedicated to comic book artist, illustrator, painter, and educator, Andy Fish. I love you, dude.

To learn more about Andy, go to his website: https://andytfish.com.